ORTING, WA:

I was truly inspired to hit the trails again today, feeling grateful that my minor injury from my first hike had fully healed. This morning, I decided to take a leisurely approach and indulge in the joys of the outdoors. I explored an invigorating urban hike down the hill from my home in Orting, Washington, and it felt refreshing to view the landscape from a new perspective. While I’ve only previously experienced golfing and the pumpkin patch in Orting, this hike opened up a delightful new vantage point, as much of my route meandered along the stunning path between the Puyallup River and High Cedar’s Golf Course. This well-groomed trail spans 6.5 miles with a gentle elevation gain of ~187ft. With a two-hour parking limit at the McMillin Trailhead, I joyfully opted to walk 2.6 miles out and back, soaking in the marvelous sights along the journey. Although spring hasn’t fully sprung yet, I was thrilled to spot a few optimistic flowers bravely pushing their way through the moss-covered branches lining the path.

Today is my father’s birthday, March 23. Papa Jack, as we affectionately called him, passed on May 20, 2023, the day after Memorial Day. I was fortunate to be holding his hand as he took his last breath, a moment I cherish deeply. He had a kind soul, truly the kindest. While I was captivated by the river flowing beside me and the gentle sound of the rain on my rain hood, I reflected on how every day brings thoughts of Papa into my life. These memories also connect me to his wonderful best friend and wife, Barb. The bond I share with Kelly, in many ways, mirrors my father’s loving marriage, one of traveling life side-by-side, inseparable. I hold a profound empathy for her, sharing similar emotions and experiences of longing for my best friend. At unexpected moments, whether triggered by a location, a sound, a scent, or a touch, these sensitive nerves remind me of the joy and love Kelly and I experienced together, bringing warmth and comfort to my heart.

This got me thinking… thinking about the many ways friends, family, and loved ones strive to ‘show up’ for each another during times of loss and grief. While the moments can feel overwhelming, I find comfort in the well-meaning phrases that remind us, like “it will take time,” “appreciate the years you had,” “it will get better,” and “I know how you feel.” In my moments of reflection, I realize that these words, though sometimes difficult to digest, come from a place of love and support. Even during the quiet evenings and weekends when I might feel alone, I can gently redirect any feelings of resentment into a renewed perspective filled with gratitude for the connections I cherish.

So, today, I decided to embrace those thoughts and place them in a positive context. A context filled with humility. As an empath, I cherish my ability to connect with others, sometimes also saying, “I know how you feel.” While it’s true that there isn’t a right or wrong way to empathize, my sensitivity to the emotions and feelings of others allows me to share in their experiences. When I hear, “I know how you feel,” Rather than going to a place of judgement, as in “how could you possibly know?”, I chose to think, “what a beautiful connection we have.” Just as the profound loss of my best friend and partner has shaped my understanding, it inspires me to honor the unique journeys of others who have experienced the loss of their daughter, sister, friend, mother, or loved one.

My perspective on this has shifted from judging the level of understanding of others to embracing their deep empathy in imagining what it must feel like, a feeling for empaths that is truly enriching. When I hear “I know how you feel,” it brings me closer to someone who may also be an empath and is deeply sensitive to my emotions and feelings. This sentiment from others is always shared with good intentions, and it’s heartwarming to think about. People generally don’t express that they understand how you feel just to suggest you should move on; they genuinely want to connect on a heartfelt emotional level. For that, I choose to feel gratitude. Surprisingly, I reflected on all of this before I made my turn for the way back, which opened up space in my mind to ponder something inspiring I read this past week as I returned to the trailhead.

The timing of my father’s birthday on this hike was a beautiful surprise, awakening fond memories of his kindness. I approached this hike with a thoughtful mindset, ready to reflect and explore along the way. This week, I found inspiration in a meditation by the stoic philosopher Epictetus. Specifically, “You must be a unified human being, either good or bad…” “take great care with the inside and not what’s outside, which is to say, stand with the philosopher, or else with the mob!” As I reflect on my life, I realize I’ve embraced my journey from being a people pleaser to nurturing a more authentic sense of joy.

While I still strive to please, it now comes from a deeper place. I once aimed to please the crowd, the mob, as Epictetus described, but now I focus on contributing from within, fostering genuine connections. This transformation has given me fulfillment, revealing the hope that sparks joy in others and encourages them on their unique paths. It brings me immense joy to empower them in overcoming their challenges, similar to that of a muse, or the male equivalent, an agent of fortune – let’s just say a welcomed life coach. I’m truly honored and grateful to be part of the journey others experience. Walking alongside them brings me the greatest happiness as we move forward together. Indeed, taking steps forward… that’s the essence of this hiking adventure—embracing movement, both in spirit and in every step I take!

-Ken

• Orting, Washington 47°07′43.5″N 122°14′12.2″W
• 5.2 miles | 59′ hiking elevation | ~2 hours
• 49 degrees with rain