OLYMPIC NATIONAL FOREST, WA:

What reason would someone have to rise at 5am on a Sunday morning if not to embrace the beauty of a gorgeous Pacific Northwest sunrise? This week, I had the motivation to travel to the peninsula for a hike in the breathtaking Olympic National Forest, and I was eager to arrive early to bask in the serene silence. My lower back felt a little tight before starting the hike, which had an elevation gain of over 1,000 feet, but I pushed on as I was excited for the adventure ahead! Today’s hike was at Upper Big Creek—a trail that spans about 5 miles and delivers a nice early challenge with most of the elevation gain during the first two miles. Including a few trail detours, some planned and others spontaneous, I settled with about 6 miles and a respectable 1,181 ft elevation gain.

Honestly, I’m not sure I can fully convey the majesty of the experience with words. Being in the Olympic Forest was an awe-inspiring revelation; I was not fully ready for just how grand it truly is. The day was beautiful, with rays of light streaming through the towering trees. The sound was a unique kind of silence, rich and profound, that made me hold my breath to not disrupt it. If I were to compare it to baseball, this was “The Show.”

I began the day with a drive that put me into somewhat of a meditative state. I arrived at about 7am to find only one other car at the trailhead, which is also Big Creek Campground. I set off on my hike, knowing that the initial climb would be challenging. Fueled by adrenaline, excitement, and pure determination, I simply put one foot in front of the other. At times, when I looked up at the steep ascent, I felt a rush of intimidation and inspiration, reminding me to just focus on on the task at hand, similar to how Kevin Costner did in the movie For Love of the Game, when he says, “clear the mechanism” while on the pitchers mound. I concentrated on taking a step, then another, and less about fixating on the end of the path.

Focusing on the present proved successful! It’s amazing what you can achieve if you embrace the journey “one step at a time.” I sense there’s a beautiful lesson in that. Along the way, I was greeted by a series of cascading falls as I traversed over a sequence of bridges. There were moments to pause and soak it all in. While there were times to take photos, I also cherished moments when I simply put the camera away to immerse myself fully in the experience. After returning to the trailhead, I packed up, and headed home. It’s a bit of a blur how I got home, as my heart, and mind, remained peacefully in the mountains.

Melody Beattie, was celebrated for her insights on gratitude as a powerful transformative practice. She emphasized that by intentionally recognizing what we are grateful for, we can foster a more positive mindset that diminishes feelings of resentment and negativity. I wholeheartedly believe in this. When we embrace gratitude, there’s little room to focus on the negative. Today, in my moment of gratitude, I felt immense appreciation for the patience these trails extend me. They have always been present, the river has continuously flowed, the trees have always let the sunshine through, the falls have always cascaded with no concern for obstacles, and they’ve withstood severe weather and likely other challenges. Now, I’m discovering and embracing their beauty, and it feels as though they cheerfully remind me, “We’re so glad you finally came to appreciate us!”

If you have read about any of my previous hikes, then you know that I take a thought or idea to ponder on my journey. Today I brought along some reflections from great thinkers and poets on the subject of loss and grief. Specifically, I focused on a few of my favorites, Alfred Lord Tennyson, Steve Jobs, Benjamin Franklin, and Marcus Aurelius. They offer profound insights on growth and resilience in the face of challenges.

When hiking today, I embraced the rhythmic crunch of gravel underfoot, which harmonizes in a way with my mind giving me a steady stream of thought that defies time. It’s a journey through the talls trees, over bridges, and along cascading water falls, a beautiful adventure that intertwines with cherished memories of Kelly. It’s fascinating how we often draw strength from the wisdom of others as we navigate loss. Alfred Lord Tennyson’s words, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” always resonated with me. In fact, it was featured in the last RomCom Kelly and I enjoyed together, “Love at First Sight” (Netflix).

As I walked amidst the towering trees and clear sky, I appreciated the idea that maybe Tennyson was sharing a profound insight into the healing process, perhaps not as a directive for others, but a way he found to cope with the loss of a close friend. These reflections reminded me that while such words inspire contemplation, the true gift lies in embracing our emotions and discovering our own unique paths forward. For me, right now, that’s hiking—a beautiful escape into nature where I can breathe, think, and feel a sense of enlightenment.

Then I considered Steve Jobs, who always emphasized living authentically and pursuing what you love. It can be likened to standing at a crossroads on the trail, eagerly deciding which path to take next. Will I choose a path of ease and comfort or one of challenge and exhilarating risk? For over three decades, my passion, time, and focus was devoted to Kelly, or more accurately, to us. In the rearview mirror, I’ve discovered that my true joy was in making her happy, a purpose I seemed to have overlooked, but a beautiful book of many chapters that has shaped me.

Now, I’m at a pivot point to redefine how I apply my focus and energy, and what brings me happiness on this new journey. Nature appears to be calling me, and as I walk, I reflect on how a river flows—constant yet ever-changing, just like life. When Kelly and I were together, that river guided us along our journey, navigating through our ups and downs. It’s a beautiful, relentless force, reminding me that while moments may be fleeting, nature always prevails. Spending time on the trail connects me to that beauty, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to embrace it, cherishing every moment as I explore this new landscape.

As I continued my trek today, I embraced Benjamin Franklin’s belief in the pursuit of knowledge and self-improvement. It feels like each step I take is a lesson learned, a valuable way to cope with loss. My innate curiosity about the world around me has blossomed into a deeper interest in the stories of others. Kelly and I enjoyed people-watching, and now, I immerse myself in understanding what makes people tick. Perhaps I’m searching for insights—not about why she’s gone, but about how to rise above this sadness. I know the road ahead may have its challenges, but I’m keenly aware that I need to reshape my grief into a catalyst for discovering new avenues of joy and happiness. Like today’s hike, it’s about exploring the unknown and embracing the rich experiences that come my way.

My pursuit of hiking is a wonderful example of embracing something new that defies the notion of “us” for two reasons: first, the absence of memories with Kelly and I hiking together, primarily for the second reason. Let’s get real, you would likely never find Kelly on the trail. It is truly a “new” experience that fills me with curiosity, joy, and anticipation rather than sadness, guilt, or regret. Kelly would have rolled her eyes at my adventurous spirit in jest, but I know she would be cheering me on, wanting me to share every moment of this journey. She treated me like a champion, a rockstar, in all my endeavors.

My final reflection comes from Marcus Aurelius, with his stoic wisdom about life’s impermanence. Sometimes I feel like he’s saying, “Just get over it already,” but that would be a shallow take on his message. He’s inviting us to embrace the notion that loss is part of the journey. When I think about this, the serenity prayer echoes in my mind, reminding me that while I can’t change the fact that Kelly is gone, I have the power to decide how I respond. And, if you’re familiar with the prayer, it’s the wisdom, knowing the difference between what we can and cannot change, that is most important.

As I hiked, I reaffirmed the way I fill my tank—it is by helping others. I might not have all the answers for those dealing with loss or grief, but I do find purpose and humility in listening and brainstorming with others about their own dreams, and the obstacles getting in the way of those dreams—like navigating a tricky part of the trail together, figuring out how to turn those bumps into stepping stones and catch a clear path along the way.

So there I was, hiking with curious thoughts prompted by Tennyson, Jobs, Franklin, and Aurelius swirling around me like leaves dancing in the wind on a breezy fall day. Each step being a bitter-sweet celebration that although the path may have its challenges, it’s also adorned with beauty, resilience, and the inspiring promise of new beginnings.

-Ken

• Olympic National Forest, Washington 47°29′33″N 122° 12′ 37.116″W
• 6.0 miles | 1,181 elevation gain | ~3.5 hours
• 37-51 degrees and clear