SNOQUALMIE VALLEY TRAIL, NORTH BEND, WA:

Stepping into another week of exploration, I found myself reflecting on life’s trails—both the ones that wind through the forest and those that weave through our hearts. Each hike offers a new opportunity to embrace the beauty around me, while also navigating the deeper valleys of my emotions. Following a serene morning drive where the roads felt like a private sanctuary, I arrived at the trailhead for Rattlesnake Ledge, where a wave of bittersweet emotions washed over me, intertwining excitement with a subtle hint of sorrow.

Today’s trail, celebrated for its breathtaking views and invigorating climb, now holds special significance for me. It felt a bit like a pilgrimage, another opportunity to connect with nature while honoring cherished memories of Kelly, whose spirit continues to envelop every corner of my life. As I hiked the 6.2 mile out-and-back trail, the elevation gain became a metaphor for the heavy heart I bear—each step a delicate balance of both grief and gratitude. I reflected on Kelly’s unwavering strength, the dreams we nurtured for our family, and how I would carry those aspirations into the future. With every step, I felt a little lighter, a little more attuned to the path ahead, one inspired by her spirit.

The Journey…

It was an enchanting morning, wrapped in beauty as the sun began to rise, gently painting the sky with a comforting spectrum from the orange horizon to the deep blue sky—a softness that perfectly complements our long, summer days. I set out on my hike at first light, yearning to embrace the solitude before the usual bustle of the trail takes hold. The park gates wouldn’t open for another couple of hours, yet I felt fortunate to secure the last parking spot in the small lot outside the gate. As I stepped out of my car, I was greeted by a chorus of birds singing in the forest I would soon explore, a lovely welcome to an otherwise quiet morning. The first quarter mile on the dirt and gravel road around Rattlesnake Lake felt effortlessly inviting, like a gentle nudge towards the adventure ahead. But as I ventured onto the trailhead, the true challenge began to reveal itself with a gradual incline. For the first mile, I found myself engaged in a steady climb, only to encounter an even steeper path in the mile that followed—persistent and demanding, making every bit of that 1,470 ft elevation gain acutely felt.

It was a trek that left me a bit short of breath, yet the view at the top felt like a well-earned reward—three rewards, actually, since there were progressively three lookout points offering stunning views over the foothills and valley below. Standing at the peak, I was awestruck with the scene in front of me under the vast, clear blue sky, adorned with multiple shades that signify the beauty of the Pacific Northwest, as summer begins to take hold. I took a moment to pause, soaking in the beauty while I enjoyed a light snack. There’s something truly rejuvenating about being immersed in nature. After hydrating, I began my descent to the trailhead, and that part of the journey felt surprisingly fresh, differentiated by friendly encounters with fellow hikers on their way up. I humbly reminded myself to be cautious; it’s so easy to stumble when you’re making your way down. As I reached my car and unlaced my boots, I was still immersed in my experience, being so captivated by the day’s experience—I hardly remembered the drive home. Between the beautiful trail, gratitude in my heart, and a soul-searching trail-thought, it was simply one of those days that imprinted in my mind and on my heart.

Gratitude…

Driving to the trailhead, I found my thoughts drifting through a landscape of appreciation that feels all too familiar. My gratitude today was dedicated to Kelly, who taught me to notice, and embrace, the little things in life. She had a remarkable ability, a gift really, to intuitively perceive subtle details, revealing silver linings even in the midst of daunting uncertainty. Through her, I learned to recognize the beauty nestled within life’s simplest moments. This lesson encourages me to remain present during my hikes: the soft rustling of branches, the serene babble of a nearby creek, and the gentle warmth of the sun filtering through the trees. Each of these elements carries a tender whisper of her spirit, prompting me to pause, reflect, and truly cherish the journey ahead. In the months before her passing, we faced some incredibly challenging moments together, navigating our conversations like a new trail that required both courage and vulnerability. With her unwavering strength, Kelly guided me as we dared to envision a hopeful future for our family. Despite the rocky paths we traversed, our bond deepened in ways that transcended words, offering solace and understanding during our most trying times.

My drive to this waypoint was in darkness, and I sensed Kelly’s comforting presence alongside me, like a trusted navigator guiding my way. I’m truly grateful for how she prepared me for this journey, showing me, through her own life, to embrace the unexpected twists and turns that come our way. Her spirit seemed to accompany me with every mile I traveled, every turn I took, gently reminding me that love transcends the physical realm, always keeping us connected. During this early morning drive, I found myself reflecting on the beautiful legacy she left behind. She taught me the significance of finding clarity amidst the chaos, nurturing an appreciation for the beauty surrounding us, and being present in every fleeting moment. Today, I walked not just for myself, but for both of us, carrying her essence as we navigate this journey together, step by step.

Reflections…

Carefully lacing up my hiking boots, I breathed in the crisp morning air, the trail ahead beckoned to me, echoing the journey our family has taken through Life. Each bend and elevation serves as a poignant reminder of the precious gifts she gave us—our cherished children, whom we lovingly call our “Three Little Birds.” Emily, Jack, and William not only embody her spirit but also reflect the essence of both of us, each uniquely carrying forward the love and dreams that once united us. Last year, at Kelly’s Celebration of Life, I opened up about the heartfelt conversations we shared during those bittersweet months leading up to her passing. Our treasured discussions accompanied me on the trail today, inspiring me to ponder how to honor her hopes and dreams for our children as they navigate their own lives.

As I ascended the winding trail, my thoughts began with Emily, our strong and independent bird. With each step upward, I couldn’t help but reflect on Kelly’s admiration for Emily’s steadfast independence—a spirit that I see shining through her even now. It’s like Emily is channeling her mother’s resilience, tackling life’s challenges with the same grace and tenacity that Kelly always embodied. Watching her navigate this new chapter into motherhood, I see glimpses of Kelly’s strength in every decision she makes. The worries of the past and anxieties about the future often cloud her path, and I can hear Kelly’s voice encouraging her, “enjoy this moment.” Those words resonate deeply, reminding Emily to savor the small joys life offers.

As I climbed higher, I felt a sense of renewed purpose. It’s now my mission to carry forward Kelly’s hopes for Emily, to be her steady guide on this journey. This would include reminding her to breathe, to pause, and to appreciate the beauty that surrounds her. Life may be unpredictable, much like the trail ahead, but we can navigate it together, with love lighting our path. So, as I found a moment to catch my breath, I silently promised Kelly that I would honor her legacy by nurturing Emily’s spirit, encouraging her independence, and reminding her to cherish each fleeting moment. It’s in these small acts that Kelly’s light continues to shine through.

Once I reached the first peak at this out-and-back trail, the breathtaking view captured my attention, and my thoughts drifted to Jack, our spirited middle bird. I remembered how Kelly always marveled at Jack’s carefree nature, especially the way he drifts into sleep with a smile—a reflection of his joyful spirit. As I stood there, gazing out at the vast landscape, I realized that Jack has inherited so much from Kelly, particularly her unwavering dedication. He approaches every challenge with a relentless determination, embodying that “100% ALL-IN” attitude that she admired so much. But it’s the weight of Kelly’s hopes for Jack that really tugged at my heart. She dreamed that each day he would wake up with the same peace that filled his dreams at night, carrying that radiant smile into each new dawn.

Reaching the third peak—the highest point of my hike—made me feel a swell of responsibility to uphold those wishes. I will need to nurture Jack’s joy, to remind him of the strength he carries within, encouraging him to embrace each day with determination, to pursue his passions without fear, and to find joy in the journey just as I do on my hikes. With every step I take, I’ll be there to guide him, celebrating his victories and providing support during challenges. In sharing stories of his mother’s love, I’ll keep her spirit alive in his heart, ensuring he knows he’s never alone on this journey.

As I began my descent, the gentle rhythm of my steps mirrored my thoughts about William, our youngest bird. I couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Kelly’s admiration for his wisdom, a profound understanding that seems to stretch beyond his years. Kelly often reminded me how William’s kind heart and gentle spirit were a source of light in our lives. Even as I navigated down the twisting trail, it was clear that he embodies a thoughtful awareness of the world, connecting deeply with those around him. William never goes to bed, or leaves the house, without wrapping his arms around us, and telling us that he loves us. Those tender gestures are a testament to the love that Kelly instilled in him, reminding us all of the importance of connection.

Continuing my descent, I thought about Kelly’s hopes for William. She wished for him to continue being kind and grateful, to carry that love into the world and remind others to appreciate life’s simple treasures. As I made my way down the familiar path, I felt a renewed sense of purpose. I know it’s my responsibility to ensure those hopes come to fruition. I’ll nurture William’s kindness and encourage him to express his feelings freely, reminding him of the beauty in every moment spent with family. I’ll share stories of his mother’s love, helping him to understand the impact of compassion and connection in a world that can sometimes feel disconnected. As I reached the trailhead, I felt a sense of fulfillment, knowing that I would be here for our children, guiding and nurturing them in the love that surrounds them.

This week’s hike transformed into an intricate journey of gratitude and legacy. As I moved along the trail, I found myself reflecting on how these three remarkable individuals truly capture the essence of Kelly. They are living reminders of her infinite love, unwavering strength, and treasured dreams. With each step, it became increasingly clear that although she is no longer physically with us, her spirit shines brightly through our “Three Little Birds,” tenderly encouraging us to embrace life with open hearts, easing our worries, and comforting us that every little thing is gonna be alright. Every hike I embark on deepens my understanding on how the love we shared flourishes through our children, and they are the most precious gifts Kelly entrusted to me. Each step I take on this trail is a reminder of Kelly’s enduring legacy in our lives, and my commitment to honor her wishes through our children, guiding them as they continue to grow into the amazing individuals they are meant to be. The path continues.

-Ken

• Snoqualmie Valley Trail, North Bend, WA
• 47° 26′ 9.132″ -121° 46′ 19.308″”
• 6.2 miles | 1,470 elevation gain | ~3 hours
• 51-63 degrees and clear